Best Man Speech Material
Choose from thousands of cracking lines, comical anecdotes, jokes, tributes, roasts and toasts at thebestmanspeech.com and build your perfect best man speech today.
Line for this week
“We’ve all got two reasons to be jealous of (Groom) today. In the first place, he’s bagged himself a truly beautiful bride. In the second, there’s still ages ‘til Christmas, but he gets to find out what’s inside (Bride)’s stocking two weeks early!”
Line Of The Month
“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen – I hope you’re all having a great time. Now then, Paul – you know what’s expected of me so don’t be too upset if, by the time I’ve finished this speech, everyone in this room thinks you’re a criminal. And if that does happen, I can only take part of the blame because most of your friends and family think that already.”
Line from the vault
“I’ve been anxious about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately last night I slept like a baby. Waking up every two hours and bawling my eyes out. Ten minutes ago, I had to ask a complete stranger to burp me.”
Line just added
“The bridesmaids have retained their radiance and dignity all day, apart from that brief episode when the bouquet was thrown. It was like watching a girl group scrabble over a solo recording contract with Simon Cowell.”
Best Man Speech Explained
The best man’s formal speech duties are typically light, involving perhaps the occasional short tribute or response to a toast. Then it’s time for the mayhem, with a full and frank character assassination of the groom your primary goal. This can take the form of entertaining stories, deft one-liners or illuminating observations, and then, after the odd sprinkling of sentiment, you’ll want to ramp things up with a killer ending to make your speech as memorable as possible.
Tips on how to write a best man speech
- Be optimistic and congratulatory towards the newlyweds, even if you know it’s not going to last.
- By complimenting the bride, her mother and her bridesmaids, you’ll get a guaranteed round of applause.
- Make people laugh and get to the point. Wedding speech jokes are best delivered with short, sharp lines.
- Jokes based on a common experience are a great way to unite the wedding guests.
- Don’t insult the bride or her friends, unless you’re happy to undergo an impromptu vasectomy under the table.
- Never refer to ex-girlfriends or boyfriends, especially if they’re there.
- Use anecdotes that everyone can relate to, and which don’t require a lengthy backstory to explain.
- Try to say everything in less than 9 minutes.
- Avoid gimmicks. If your speech relies on props, videos or a dance routine, it’s probably about as funny as your neighbour’s holiday snaps.
- Sugar the pill. If you’ve dedicated a significant portion of your speech to mocking someone, at least say they turned up looking nice today.
LENGTH OF ENGAGEMENT
What’s the perfect length for an engagement? There’s a lot of leeway. More than ten days, less than ten years; I think we can all agree on that. But if the extremes are obvious, there are certainly grey areas at either end. The age of the bride and groom can come into play. High school sweethearts who find each other .
“I know Paul and Linda haven’t been engaged for that long, but I’d like to take a moment to quash a rumour that’s going around, and reassure everyone in the room that this marriage isn’t just an Uber ride-share from last Saturday night that got out of hand.”
“It wasn’t a long engagement. They could have boiled the eggs for today’s buffet on the day they met, and they’d still be fresh.”
“Much like their engagement, Paul and Linda’s very first night together was fast and furious… Paul was fast, and Linda was furious!”
“Paul and Linda have been engaged for years! Too long, some people might think. But Linda knew what she was doing. When you’re looking at a lifetime with someone like Paul, it’s important to make absolutely sure you can’t do any better!”
THE BROTHER OF THE BRIDE
The newlyweds are the reason that everyone is gathered so any material directed at them as a couple is likely to be a hit, as this brother of the bride demonstrates.
Tap into the world’s most comprehensive and most frequently up-dated collection of ready-made best man speech material.
Start Here With Opening Lines
Roasting the Groom
Praising the Groom
Humorous Wedding Observations
Best Man’s Relation To Groom
Groom Character Assassination
Amusing Friendship Reminisces
Entertaining Version of Bride & Groom’s Romance
Humorous Take on Bride & Groom’s Relationship
Wedding day compliments
Humorous Closing Lines
Sentimental Closing Lines
Addressing Delicate Issues
Lines to avoid
Explore over 100 ready-made best man speeches covering every conceivable groom, best man and wedding.
26 unique best man speech templates to help you tie your material together in a fun and entertaining way.
Our professionally composed formats will help pace your speech whilst balancing humour and sincerity.
Tips and advice for crafting your content, maximising your ideas and delivering your speech.
About Our Content
Our content is produced by creative writers or originates from actual wedding speeches contributed from a variety of sources. These include our network of wedding videographers, our publishing partners and the speech competitions we run throughout the year. Our content is both current and original with new material being added on a daily basis.
In the Media
The real frightener for best men isn’t the stag do, it’s the speech. There is information on the net that can help you, but the best of the lot is www.thebestmanspeech.com. As well as the templates, there are thousands of gags and lines to use. The site is a repository of reassuring hints.
Why You Should Use Us
We are the only speech-writing site that’s constantly sourcing new and contemporary material for our best man speech content. Our diverse team of professional comedians, script-writers and authors enables us to provide you with a range of styles to suit your tastes, and those of the mother-in-law! See a sample of the new material we’ve just added to our winning collection. Prefer something more traditional? We’ve also collected an archive of classic material containing tried-and-tested lines.